The love of my life died...?

we were together 4/half yrs. they told him he had 6 months to live. and sure enough he passed in 6 quick months. my heart is broken and cant seem to want to go on. and Iv been crying for 9 months. every one seems fine but me. Iv lost 25 pounds and know Im to skinny but feel like I have no reason to live and Im just here. some folks said I should be on meds to make me happy. but I dont like pills. I feel like Im falling apart and aged 10 yrs. I cant stop thinking about my man rest in peace DRF I ove and miss you,,